The Games

Finding true flow in your experience

💡Level Up: Pressing “Start”

“The biggest unlock in the game is to realize that it is a game.”

While most coaching content out there would suggest that game strategy is paramount, figuring out “how to win” or “how to build influence” and so on, I feel that very little content is centered around the fundamental mindset from which we choose to play.

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again: most of what we do - we seem to do backwards. We start playing the game before we understand what we are truly playing for.

The chaotic way we receive content doesn’t help. Most information these days is very difficult to digest, simply because of how it’s delivered - in bits and pieces lacking context - unclear as to which problem we’re solving and what layer we’re on in the broader problem pyramid. We debate about generalities like “follow your passion” or “never give up” or “fail fast,” when what is most important is the situation. As is the case with all tools.

That said, I have nothing against information overload and our rapidly decreasing attention spans — In fact, I see it as a natural byproduct of progress and technological evolution.

What I do believe, however, is that in the age of AI and information overwhelm, it is even more paramount for us to deeply understand ourselves as individuals, as humans, and as a collective consciousness.

What’s the point of it all? Why does it all matter? Why are we all here?

We are whole to start.

For most of my life, I have been driven by ambition (and consequently, time scarcity).

While we all form our ego in different ways, mine was formed out of early success  — Things would often come naturally for me. People came to expect more. I came to expect more. And eventually, I began to live my life against the clock, pressed against the burden of my own potential: how would I use each moment most productively? What would my ideal self say in this situation? Was I being risky enough, aggressive enough, self-driven enough? (ironic, I know)

In some ways, I was a very highly functioning shell of a character I had willed into existence. A lot of extra processing between my true self and my external one.

If you’re reading this, you may feel in some ways similar. Maybe not so extreme (or maybe more extreme!), but for highly ambitious leaders, it’s possible that some of our drive comes from a sense of self that is attached to accomplishment, power, or at least the hunger to put in the work. We praise the fearless and successful. We loathe passiveness or incompetence. Our obsessiveness with reaching our full potential is in line with what has always worked for us, what we have always done to be seen. To matter. To be recognized for who we were meant to be.

Perhaps it is by design - the necessary runaround so that by the time we get back to square 0, we can appreciate square 0 for what it is.

Nonetheless, at some point, most of us come to realize that living in a scarcity mindset can be quite exhausting.

What do I mean by that?

Let me explain.

I’m using the phrase “scarcity mindset” to express the attachment of our life experience to a set of conditions. If we define a prevailing performance value for our lives (and hence the value we attach to), we will forever lack. Why? Performance is, by definition, measurable, thus it can always be more or less. In my case, the importance I placed on ambition drove a constant sense of highs and lows. At times, I felt on top of the world. Other times, I felt far behind. The highs were powerful highs. The lows were empty lows. Because I could always be “doing more,” every second felt heavy and judgmental. I navigated the world as a series of opportunities and threats. I could never fully let go.

The scarcity mindset can be quite insidious - like a toxic relationship. Because we still have fleeting moments of highs, the experience can be just encouraging enough to keep us from seeking a deeper knowing. We hold on tightly, thinking that clarity is right around the corner. But these efforts are ultimately futile.

When we attach our sense of selves with an overdeveloped ego, we can easily forget who is truly in control.

You’ll notice I haven’t mentioned anything about the games. Well, this is it. You’re in it.

The approach I mention above is not bad per se - it’s simply the game you’ve chosen to play. Resistance only arises when we seek certain answers in one dimension that actually live in another.

Awakening the player.

While there are many strategies and frameworks on “finding inner peace,” the single most important realization that we must make is that we exist across two distinct dimensions - one that represents the basis of our being (whole and immeasurable), and the other that represents our human experience.

The first dimension, which I’ll refer to as the “3rd person perspective,” is essentially what others may call “inner peace.” It is the condition of awakening outside of the constraints of the game - of being deeply and unconditionally seen, without judgment. It is the recognition of our true being as pure consciousness and energy, which, as energy, has no start or end. While many will never experience this state, my goal is that many more will.

The other dimension is what I’ll refer to as “the games,” which are the experiences we choose to pursue that add meaning and joy to our lives. Within certain aspects of this dimension - let’s say, challenge or creation - performance can clearly be finite and measured. Most “debate” happens within this dimension.

By recognizing these two dimensions as separate and independent, we create the space to acknowledge and experience a deeper sense of aliveness, allowing us to approach “our games” from a mindset of abundance. Because we are consciously detached, we are able to fully immerse ourselves in the game itself (from the highs to the lows) with freedom and excitement - the way we knew how to from the very beginning. (now just with more control over our powers!)

In the same way that a true sportsman never forgets that it’s a game - win or lose, neither should we.

As we shift from a mindset of scarcity to abundance, we give ourselves the opportunity to experience the game, our experience, for all that it is:

A game.